National Aquatic Safety Company

Milton’s Big Adventure

HI, I AM MILTON. I KNOW YOU PERHAPS HAVE SOME DIFFICULTY BELIEVING THAT DOGS CAN TALK, NOW, I AM GOING TO ASK YOU TO BELIEVE THAT WE CAN TYPE AS WELL. JUST KIDDING, THE MORE YOU GET TO KNOW ME, THE MORE YOU WILL REALIZE THAT I LIKE TO KID AROUND A LOT. THE TRUTH IS I HAVE A SOMEONE TYPING THIS FOR ME, REALLY.

I WON’T GET TO PRESENT MY SIDE OF THE ADVENTURES EVERY TIME, ONLY WHEN I THINK FURTHER EXPLANATION IS NEEDED.

LET ME BEGIN WITH SORT OF THE BEGINNING. I CAN’T REMEMBER MY WEE PUPPY LIFE, BUT AFTER I WAS ABOUT 8 MONTHS I CAN REMEMBER A GREAT DEAL. I WAS RAISED BY TWO REALLY NEAT HUMANS AND LIVED WITH A BUNCH OF BROTHER, SISTERS, COUSINS AND, OF COURSE, MY PARENTS.

ALTHOUGH I CAN’T QUITE REMEMBER WHICH OF MY SIBLINGS WAS ADOPTED FIRST, I DO REMEMBER MY OWNERS WERE QUITE EXCITED ABOUT THEIR HAVING FOUND A “FOREVER HOME”.

PEOPLE WERE ALWAYS STOPPING BY TO LOOK AT US; I MUST SAY WE WERE QUITE A STRIKING FAMILY. WE WOULD ALL GO BOUNDING OVER TO GREET THEM. THEY WOULD OOH AND AHH OVER US AND POOF ONE OF US WOULD BE OFF TO A “FOREVER HOME”. NOW I WASN’T SURE WHAT THAT MEANT, WEREN’T WE HOME ALREADY? ANYWAY, WHENEVER PEOPLE LOOKED AT ME THEY WOULD ALWAYS SAY HOW HANDSOME I WAS, BUT THIS OR THAT WAS NEVER QUITE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM. LUCKILY I HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF SELF CONFIDENCE, OR THAT WOULD HAVE BOTHERED ME. AFTER AWHILE I JUST FIGURED I WAS IN MY FOREVER HOME AND THAT WAS THAT.

WELL, ONE DAY THIS PICKUP CAME TO VISIT AND AS CUSTOMARY WE ALL BOUNDED OUT TO GREET HIM. WELL, HE OOHED AND AAHED OVER US ALL. STRANGE THING IS THAT WHEN IT WAS MY TURN TO VISIT AND SAY HI, HE COMMENTED ON HOW HANDSOME I WAS AND THAT I WAS THE ONE HE WANTED. SHUCKS, I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK. NOW IT WAS MY TURN TO GO TO A “FOREVER HOME”. I STILL DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ONE WAS, BUT, I WAS GOING!

THIS HUMAN HAD QUITE A CALM AND CARING AIR ABOUT HIM. I SHED MORE HAIR IN AN HOUR THAN HE HAD ON HIS HEAD. BUT THE STRANGEST THING WAS THAT HE HELD SOMETHING IN HIS TEETH THAT WAS ON FIRE. WELL, I THINK IT WAS ON FIRE AS SMOKE KEPT COMING OUT OF IT. I HAVE SINCE LEARNED THAT IT WAS A PIPE, BUT IT WAS THE FIRST ONE I HAD EVER SEEN.

SO AFTER AWHILE, IT WAS TIME TO GET INTO THE TRUCK. WELL, LET ME TELL YOU THAT WAS A TAD BIT SCAREY. NO ONE ELSE WAS GOING, I HAD NEVER BEEN ALONE AND THEY WERE TRYING TO TELL ME TO DO SOMETHING, I JUST DIDN’T UNDERSTAND THEM. NEXT THING YOU KNOW THE HUMANS ARE PICKING ME UP, QUITE A FEAT IN ITSELF, AND PUTTING ME INSIDE.

I MADE IT INSIDE AND IT DIDN’T EVEN SMELL LIKE A DOG AT ALL.  THERE WERE THINGS WHERE I WAS SUPPOSED TO SIT, I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT A TOY WAS, SO I SAT ON THEM. THE HUMANS TALKED FOR A BIT, HE GOT IN THE TRUCK AND WE STARTED MOVING. THERE WAS A GREAT BREEZE COMING FROM SOMEWHERE AND I WAS BOMBARDED WITH NEW SMELLS. I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE TO OR HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE SO, I DID WHAT I DO BEST, I SLEPT.

SOMEWHERE ALONG THE JOURNEY, HE PULLED OVER AND WALKED ALL AROUND THE TRUCK, BUT I FIGURED IT WAS SOME HUMAN RITUAL. HE KEPT MUMBLING ABOUT SOME NOISE HE HAD HEARD. I WAS LATER TO LEARN THAT IT WAS JUST MY SNORING THAT HAD STARTLED HIM. HE TELLS ME I SNORE, I AM NOT SURE I BELIEVE IT.

WE STOPPED LATER AND TO MY SURPRISE HE GAVE A BITE OF SOMETHING THAT SET MY MOUTH TO WATERING. HE SAID IT WAS A CHEESEBURGER, I HOPED THAT THERE WERE A LOT OF THOSE IN MY “FOREVER HOME”. IT SURE BEAT KIBBLES.

THAT’S IT FOR NOW, I’LL LET HIM TELL YOU MORE ADVENTURES AND AS I SAID I WILL HAVE COMMENTS FROM TIME TO TIME.